Rain, Masks and Stuff
by meleth78
Summary: Kakashi and Iruka have been seeing each other for a while now, but Iruka has something he's not quite happy about...Ongoing series
1. Rain, Masks and Stuff

Title: Rain, Masks and …Stuff by Meleth78

Genre: Romance/Angst

Characters: Iruka and Kakashi.

Rating: R? There's naked lounging and some reference to sex.

Status: I'm hoping there'll be a continuation. I have a rough idea of why Iruka did what he did; just have to get it down on paper.

Comments: Yet another slice of life for Kakairu. This one longer than my previous. Iruka and Kakashi have been seeing each other for a while and stuff arises… yep. Stuff. This is un-beta-ed and written at one shot. Hope there aren't too many mistakes! Let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in that exists in Naruto-world. Dash it. Well, maybe a dirty fantasy or two about Kakairu.

Iruka laid in bed, dozing, curled up, burrowed under blankets, still in the pleasant realm of those that were half asleep and not quite awake. Reality was made up of only the hypnotic sound of the fan spinning overhead and the soft texture of the pillow beneath him. It was drizzling slightly, the breeze that wafted through the half-opened window next to him brought with it scents of damp grass and clean rain. A stray raindrop sneaked though, landed on his cheek, a cold wetness, startling him into consciousness. Not willing to give in to awareness just yet, he turned, snuggling deeper, wiping the errant drop onto the pillow. His movement pulled the blanket down, exposing his tanned bare back to the morning chill.

He sensed rather than heard the door open. The wind seemed to rush out of the room as the pressure was released. The gentle swoosh of the door as it shut, footsteps, and the bed next to his prone body sinking under a weight. A whisper of a caress running down the hollow of his scarred back made him shiver more than the chilly air. A smooth brush of cloth-covered lips. A face was pressed into his dark hair, inhaling deeply. Iruka's slight smile was hidden by the pillow.

'It's raining' Kakashi murmured.

'Mmm... .' came the muffled reply. He was still deciding if it was worth waking up. It was early yet. School wouldn't start for a couple more hours.

'You're going to catch a cold if you don't cover up.' Continued the silver haired jounin as he sneaked under the sheets, curling himself about Iruka, tugging him closer and pulling the blanket more securely around them.

'Mmm' sighed the younger teacher. Refusing to budge. Kakashi was warm. Warm and quite naked, save for the mask. Pale skin so soft and smooth against his.

A man-made cocoon, a closed circle, the blankets erected an impenetrable barrier around them. For a moment, it was possible for both to believe that nothing in the world was strong enough to breech that barrier. It was just the two of them enclosed within and that was enough. The rain began to fall harder; droplets hit the glass plane of the half-opened window spattering the two beings curled up on the bed. Iruka gave a muffled 'eep' and snuggled deeper into the blankets. Kakashi laughed softly at the still sleepy chunin and murmured,

'Do you think it's worth moving? Or shall we just get wet? I'm rather fond of the way your skin feels wet.' The lower curvature of the masked face took on the shape of a sly grin; the single exposed eyebrow raised itself suggestively.

Iruka couldn't see Kakashi's face but he knew the man well enough to imagine the leer on the pale, masked face. Trying not to laugh, Iruka pushed the fair-haired man away and reached up to pull shut the window. The raindrops continued to beat down on the window plane. Musical in its rhythm, twinkling fairies, dancing on glass, twirling, prancing. A soothing sound. His hand gets wet in the process and Kakashi takes it and stares at the droplets of water on the dark skin, tracing a pattern with the dampness.

'How was the mission?' asked Iruka, tilting his head so that it rested against the jounins', allowing himself to enjoy the careless motions of Kakashi's fingers. His own hand reaching out to trace the bridge of the covered nose.

'Don't wanna talk about the mission…I'd rather…' The sentence was interrupted as Kakashi shifted, pushing the younger man onto his back and sprawled out on top of him, pinning him to the bed. One pale hand rose up to cover the dark eyes above the scarred nose, slightly rough in its impatience. His other hand reached to tug his mask down.

'Don't.' Iruka said, jerking his face away but still keeping his eyes closed.

'What's wrong?' questioned the other man, all motion stilled at the uncharacteristic harshness in Iruka's normally mild, melodic tone.

'Put your mask up.' The sentence didn't leave room for the argument the young teacher knew was sure to come from the jounin.

He waited until he heard the cloth shift back to its original place. Iruka left his eyes closed a few beats longer, feeling the weight of the single-eyed stare on his face. Kakashi didn't move off him though. The lean muscled body remained poised over Iruka's form, tense, coiled, waiting. Impatience and confusion all but rolled of him in waves. For once, the genius jounin's emotions were unchecked, unshackled. Only Iruka was capable of unleashing this.

'Ruka.' Stern. The name held a question.

Brown eyes snapped open but refused to meet the pale blue eye hovering above it. A tanned hand slapped against Kakashi's chest and shoved. Hard. The chuunin quickly slid out from under the other man as Kakashi fell to the side, ninja reflexes useless against the shock from receiving such a push from his usually affectionate lover.

'Ruka!' Harsher this time. Louder.

Iruka didn't deign to answer, instead getting off the bed, a slight shudder running through him as his feet hit the cold, hard floor.

'I'm going to take a shower. You should get dressed. You have to meet Naruto and the rest in a bit don't you?'

'Ruka… What...' Softer. Confused. Hurt.

There was no reply from the teacher; he didn't even seem to hear the question. Iruka picked up the towel hanging of the back of the chair, wrapped it around his waist and made his way to the shower…

When he came out, the pale Copy Ninja was already dressed in a tight black turtleneck and his usual dark pants. The ever present mask was in its usual position. His forehead protector slated over the Sharingan eye. Kakashi stared at Iruka clad in only the damp towel as he emerged from the shower.

'Well?' asked Kakashi, irritation taking the place of his initial confusion. Hurt made his voice harder than he would have liked. There wasn't even the usual appreciative leer at the half nude, damply tanned form.

'Turn around' was the reply.

'What?'

'Turn. Around.'

'You've got to be kidding me.'

'Turn around Kakashi' Iruka said flatly, unmoving.

'Fine. It's not like I've never seen you naked you know. In fact…'

'Lucky for you then. I usually have a cloth tied around my eyes when we fuck.'

Kakashi fell silent. The two men stared at each other, both unrelenting.

'That's not fair' Kakashi whispered finally, turning away.

'You started it.' said Iruka, reaching into his closet, jerkily yanking his clothes out, pulling them on in short, sharp tugs.

'You said you were fine with it.' came the angry retort.

'Oh right, it's my fault then. What was I thinking? Wanting to see the face of the man who's making love to me.' Fully dressed, the younger man finally looked at the older ninja and signaled that he was done.

Kakashi turned back to glare at the tanned form of his lover and asked,

'Why now? Why all of a sudden?'

'Because I'm tired Kashi. Because I'm sick of it. I'm sick of you coming and going whenever you please. Expecting me to welcome you into my bed, into my LIFE!' Iruka yelled. 'I'm sick of fucking a faceless man. I'm SICK of you.'

The violence of the answer threw the jounin. He knew that sooner of later this would happen. He just didn't expect it to be sooner. He had expected at least a little more time with the irrepressible young academy teacher before it all blew up in his masked face. As it always did. There was no hint of a problem before he left for his mission two weeks ago.

'So what do you want now?' questioned the masked jounin. He thought he already knew the answer. Iruka wanted to see his face. They always did. They never understood why he had to keep it covered even when having sex. And after the initial kink factor of being blindfolded in bed wore off, the request always arose.

_Let me see your face Kakashi. Why won't you take your mask of? Just a peek Kashi-kun. Pleeeaaase? _Whiny. Petulant. And when he refused to give in, then came the anger, the threats.

_If you don't take your stupid mask off you can go to hell. Are you going to remove it? _

He never said yes to such requests. He would not be threatened. He would not allow himself to be coerced. He never allowed it. He would not allow it with Iruka. Not even with Iruka who always kept his eyes closed when Kakashi kissed him, even if the jounin didn't reach up to cover his eyes. Not even with Iruka, who once suggested that Kakashi make love to him on his knees, from behind because there wasn't anything to bind his eyes with and Iruka knew it was the only position where Kakashi felt secure in un-masking his face. So he said,

'_I want to feel your lips on me. Take the mask off. Do me from behind. I won't look. I promise.'_

The present day Iruka sighed and rubbed the scar on his nose. Wary. Tired of fighting. He was never any good at it anyway. Particularly not with the older jounin.

'Could you just leave me alone for a while? Just go…go do whatever it is that you do when you're not on missions or training and still disappear.'

'What? What does that mean?' Asked Kakashi, vaguely disconcerted. He was prepared to reject an appeal to remove his mask. He didn't quite know how to respond to what Iruka was asking.

'It means go away, go be somewhere else. Somewhere not here. Not around me. I need…I need some time to think about… some…some...' Iruka floundered…and finally came up with 'Stuff.'

'Stuff?' The Copy Ninja couldn't help it, he smiled, single uncovered eye curving slightly. It was just like the young chuunin to throw him for a loop, to say something so unsuitable for the situation, so weird and yet have it make sense anyway.

'Yes. Stuff.' Muttered Iruka embarrassed. What an anti-climax, he thought to himself.

'Ok. And when you're finished thinking about this Stuff…'

The younger man kept silent.

'Ruka?'

'I'll…I'll come find you.' Iruka said to the floor.

'Is that a promise?' Kakashi reached out and gently tipped the other ninja's face up to his. Finally looking into the dark brown eyes that first drew him to the younger man.

'Yes. I'll come find you.'


	2. Rain, Mochi and Stuff

Title: Rain, Mochi and …Stuff by Meleth78

Genre: Romance

Characters: Iruka and Kakashi

Rating: PG

Status: On going. I think.

Comments: Eh, continuation of my other story Rain, Masks and …Stuff. This has rather a different tone from the previous piece and is mostly from Kakashi's POV. I know I probably should have continued with the whole 'sad sad' style but I just didn't feel like it. The continuation to this when Iruka and Kakashi finally talk it out should go back to the original tone though. I think. Well, I hope so anway.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in that exists in Naruto-world. Dash it. Well, maybe a dirty fantasy or two about Kakairu.

It was raining again and Kakashi was at home forlornly staring out the window. He watched as the raindrops splashed into the puddles that were slowly forming on the road below his apartment. Kakashi knew that Iruka loved the rain. He remembered seeing the younger man sticking his tongue out to catch the raindrops, the happy grin as the water trickled down the chuunin's tanned face. He recalled watching Iruka shaking out his soaked hair, splattering water all over Kakashi's clean, dry bed. He also remembered yelling at the academy teacher and attempting to grab the chuunin as he dashed through the house, weaving, trying to evade the irate silver-haired man and his offending towel. But mostly, Kakashi remembered the hugs and the laughter as he finally caught the other man and vigorously toweled his wet head dry.

It was memories like this that made Kakashi catch his breath whenever he thought of the Iruka. They also made him grit his teeth in impatience at the lack communication from said man in the past week.

Go do whatever it is you do when you're not on missions or training and still disappear

Fine. He was more than willing to give Iruka his space if it meant the man wouldn't coerce him into taking off his mask or break up with him outright. But the problem was Kakashi didn't exactly DO anything when he wasn't on missions or training. He sometimes sat around and read Icha Icha Paradise but he wasn't really in the mood for that right now. And there were only so many mission or training sessions his body, well-conditioned as it was, could take before protesting. A little. Ok, a lot.

He could have gone to the memorial stone and stared morosely for a while but the allure of doing that had diminished quite a bit after getting together with the sunny chuunin teacher. Actually, his hobby of staring at the stone had been replaced by spying on the chuunin teacher just before they got together, but Iruka really didn't need to know that. Hmm...maybe he could go see what Iruka was…no no, the whole 'seeing' thing didn't really work that well two days ago.

Kakashi usually managed to keep his chakra hidden on covert expeditions; he was after all, an elite jounin cum former ANBU member and all that. However two days ago, he had worked himself into a frenzy arguing with himself if he should just confront the younger man rather than wait, that he accidentally forgot to mask his rather unique chakra. The academy teacher had suddenly frozen in the midst of his session with the young students he was teaching. Likewise, Kakashi had frozen as the word 'crap' ran through his mind. The chuunin then re-started his lecture and at the same time slowly made his way to the window Kakashi was spying though. Smiling at his class, the young teacher had lifted his index finger and tilted his head in the direction of the tree outside the window, across the small field where Kakashi was frozenly perched on. Iruka then seemed to scratch the side of his head and THWARP! A pencil shot past Kakashi's face and imbedded itself into the branch centimeters from his left ear. The children in the class had erupted into applause and chuunin had glared at the offending tree and slammed the window shut. Yeah, maybe not so much with the spying, after all Iruka had made it clear that Kakashi should be 'somewhere not around him'. The man had quite a good aim. For a chuunin.

But, then again, why did he have to listen to what Iruka said anyway? It had been more than a week and he had heard nothing from the younger man. Who did that brat think he was anyway? The only person so far to put up with your mask nonsense without dumping your pale ass, you moron replied the part of his brain that was still properly functioning. Oh. Right. Kakashi sighed. And it wasn't just that Iruka put up with what he knew was a rather unreasonable request. Iruka hadn't even tried to coerce or cajole him into removing it. Any normal person would at least tried to whine or manipulate but not his Ruka. When the younger man wanted something he usually just came out and said it and Kakashi, being the genius that he was could never quite bring himself to say no to those big chocolate-colored eyes. In fact, he could still remember the last time the bluntness of the chuunin had surprised him.

It had been about three weeks ago and Kakashi had just returned from a long and exhausting S-class mission. He was unhurt but grumpy and had been looking forward to spending the weekend buried in bed, doing nothing more than to first take a nap then make love to his favorite academy teacher then nap then make love than nap then...well, you get the general idea. Anyway, Kakashi felt that he had outlined his weekend plans very clearly to Iruka. And Iruka, judging from his coos of sympathy and gentle cuddling of the tired jounin, seemed to grasp the concept sufficiently well. But then, when Kakashi was drifting off into the first nap of the day, the younger teacher, quite out of the blue, poked the pale man and said,

'You wanted to have sex?'

Sleep dazed, the Copy Ninja had blearily opened his visible eye and murmured,

'Wha?'

'I said, you wanted to have sex?' repeated the younger man.

'Uh...yes. Maybe after my nap?' yawned Kakashi, although he thought, if Iruka wanted to do it now, he would be more than willing to delay his first nap of the day. Ah, the sacrifices he made for the younger man. With that idea in mind, Kakashi smiled sleepily under his mask and started to reach for the delectable chuunin teacher.

'Go buy me some mochi then.'

What? Thought Kakashi.

'What?' said Kakashi

'If you want to have sex this weekend, go buy me some mochi.' smiled Iruka, softly stroking the pale hair on the jounin's head. 'Please?'

'What? I...but…Why can't you go?' questioned Kakashi, already staring to re-burrow back under the blankets.

'My feet are really, really tired' answered the chuunin.

'I just finished a very, very difficult mission' countered the jounin.

'Konohamaru is in my class. And Naruto didn't have any missions and was really really bored.' replied the chuunin.

'They threw like a whole bunch of shuriken at me' said the jounin, holding up his two hands to show how big the bunch of shuriken was.

'I think I want chocolate mochi. Oh wait, maybe vanilla' answered the chuunin, thinking deeply.

'And a kunai nearly nipped of the top of my right ear' continued the jounin, rubbing the tip of his right ear.

'Or maybe strawberry...hmmm' pondered the chuunin, biting his index finger.

'It was an S class mission. S!' said the increasingly agitated jounin.

'But don't get the frozen ones, get them fresh ok?' Iruka's dark eyes had crinkled up adorably as he bent down to nuzzle the cloth covered cheek of the prone ninja and gave him, what was possible the sweetest little peck on the cheek ever known to man or shinobi.

Kakashi had closed his eye and sighed deeply, laying still for a moment longer before shoving off the warm, warm blankets and began to pull his pants and shirt on, all the while muttering about big brown eyes, pouty lips and cute scarred noses. In fact, even as he jumped across rooftops all the way to the other side of town to purchase freshly made, chocolate, vanilla and strawberry mochi he continued to mutter about big brown eyes, pouty lips and cute scarred noses.

Present day Kakashi sighed again. Iruka had said he would come find him once he had finished thinking about…Stuff. Iruka usually said whatever he thought, no deception, no manipulation, no lies. Kakashi continued to stare out at the rain as he waited for Iruka to decide.


	3. Letters, Masks and Stuff

Title: Letters, Masks and …Stuff by Meleth78

Genre: Romance/Angst

Characters: Iruka and Kakashi.

Rating: PG

Status: Eh, I'm sure Kakashi isn't going to leave it at this.

Comments: Iruka's reply

Disclaimer: Why are they not mine? It's not fair.

I know you're impatient. I also know the pencil didn't even graze you, so you can take that silly little plaster off your left ear. And when you're in the mission room submitting your reports, stop touching your lobe and wincing. I'm not gong to kiss your non-existent booboo. I have a good aim, even if I am just a chuunin. And asking Naruto not to tell me that you've been badgering him about me? Please. I practically raised the kid; you've only had him for less than a year.

Couldn't you just have waited like I asked? Would you leave me alone for a while longer if I told you I love you? Because I do. And don't try and pretend you're surprised. The reason why it you've happily gotten into the habit of sneaking into my bed at the strangest hours and covering my eyes without second thought isn't because you're a mean, horrible, nasty person. Naruto told me you bring him fruits and vegetables every week. He doesn't eat them by the way, he gives them to me, but it is still very nice of you.

Like I was saying, you're a very considerate person and the only reason you treat me the way you do is because you know I'm deeply, crazily, insanely in love with you. You know I'll let you get away with crap because I seldom, if ever, say no to you. I even went shopping with you for silk ties to bind my eyes with. And you know you're not taking advantage of my supposed kind nature because I make you do weird stuff as well. Like buying me mochi when you're close to passing out. Or hand-washing my underwear when I got tired of all my stuff being dyed blue because I chuck my uniform into the washer without checking. And also the other stuff, like sitting there quietly and waiting when I'm telling my parents how my week as been. And never once telling me how crazy it is that I still have conversations with people that have been dead for 13 years. You're incredibly sweet Kakashi, even though you try and hide it.

I bet right now you're thinking, 'so what the hell?'. It's not the mask Kakashi. Well, it is the mask but it's not the mask, mask. I mean, I don't mind the mask, but in a way I do. I don't mind that you won't take it off. But will you promise me to keep it on forever? Are we going to be doing this forever?

I want to do this to go on forever, you coming by in the middle of the night and molesting me in bed. I want to feel your hand slip over my face and press down on my eyes just before your lips touch mine. I want to feel your teeth bite into my shoulder from behind as you come, deep inside me. Shivering. I even want to feel the cloth of that damn mask press into my skin as you fall asleep. It's very soft you know. The mask. What's it made of? We should get ties of the same material. Might feel nicer than silk.

It's not that you won't take it of, it's that I'm afraid the only memory I'll have of your face is when they tear it off to force air down your throat. Or when they remove it so you won't choke on your own blood. I'm afraid you'll die before you ever feel safe enough with me to just be you. Not Kakashi the genius Copy Ninja. Not Sharingan Kakashi. Not Kakashi-sensei, pervert extrodinaire. Naruto thinks you keep the mask on because you drool when you're reading you know. But just Kakashi. My Kakashi.

I'm not asking you to take the mask off. I wouldn't even dream of it. Keep it on. Keep it on forever. Just promise me that you'll never die. That's easier to do right?

You know you've never actually told me you love me. Well, to be fair, before this I've never told you either. So, do you love me Kakashi? I need to know. It's difficult for me to have so much love for you and suspect that it might somehow not be returned.

Am I making sense? I told you to leave me alone. It's your own fault.

Iruka


	4. More Letters, Masks and Stuff

Title: Letters, Masks and …Stuff (PART FOUR) by Meleth78

Genre: Romance/Angst

Characters: Iruka and Kakashi.

Rating: PG

Status: Hmm, what do you say Iruka? Are you planning on replying?

Comments: Kakashi's attempt to rationalize the situation. And his conclusion. Oh, the incident where Naruto and gang tried to un-mask Kakashi was in the anime, episode 101. He finally decided to give in to them and pulled down his mask to reveal, gasp! Another mask!

Disclaimer: Why are they not mine? It's not fair.

Kakashi was not very good at expressing his feelings. More often than not, he let his actions speak for him. Life was infinitely simpler that way. Letter writing then, was close to impossible for the experienced jounin. Short notes like

'Ruka,

Have mission. Crap. See you in a week. Remember to miss me a lot.

Kakashi. drawing of a small, wobbly looking heart-shaped object'

were about as literary as Kakashi ever got. He just wasn't very good with words, definitely not as proficient as Iruka had shown himself to be. But then again, there was a reason why the chuunin was a school teacher and he was just a porn reader. Not that school teachers didn't enjoy the occasional pornographic…Anyway, moving on. Iruka's letter was just so…his letter was so… his letter was the reason why Kakashi was currently sprawled out on his bed, pen in hand, paper before him, trying to string together a reasonably coherent sentence. Or at least one that wasn't completely incoherent. However, good intentions didn't always yield satisfactory results.

Kakashi's first try amounted to,

'My dearest Ruka,

I think that what you wrote that you felt was what you truly felt. And I feel the same way too.'

Er. Maybe not. Simple, keep it simple.

His next try began,

'Dearest Ruka,

Of course I love you. Is it you are stupid?'

But after staring at the last sentence for a bit, and repeating it back to himself a few times, Kakashi decided that there was a chance that the younger man might take it the wrong way. He already had a splinter in his left ear, he didn't need more injuries. Plus, although Kakashi wasn't certain, he suspected the sentence, 'Is it you are stupid' was grammatically incorrect.

His third try was relatively short-lived, he wrote,

'Dearest Rura,'

Damn.

His forth and final try resulted in violence.

Kakashi sighed deeply as he distractedly poked a finger through the pen-shaped hole in his comforter. So maybe letter writing wasn't the way to go. Why did Iruka have to write him a letter anyway? He had a mouth, he knew how to use it. Hmmm…boy, did Iruka know how to use…Anyway, how could that idiot ask if Kakashi was in love with him? The jounin always, always, ALWAYS, made it a point to draw a little heart next to his name whenever he left Iruka a note. What more did the chuunin want? Grand, elaborate declarations of his undying love and affections!

Oh.

Kakashi sighed. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

This wasn't working out the way he had expected. Iruka was supposed to demand that Kakashi take off his mask and Kakashi was all set to portray righteous indignation and anger. He, bastard that he knew he could be, was intending to foist the blame of the chuunin teacher. He was planning to remind the younger man that it was he, Umino Iruka that came up with the devious little ploy of wearing a mask underneath his usual mask to foil Naruto and gang when they became obsessed with un-masking their jounin sensei. This essentially made Iruka Kakashi's partner in crime. And, as the jounin would have made an effort to point out, the plan also showed just how much Iruka understood Kakashi's delicate feelings. Following this, he would then attempt to elicit sympathy from the younger man by expounding on said delicate feelings.

He would first start by telling Iruka that the mask had become a part of who he was and that he, sniff, no longer knew how to separate the man from the shinobi. That was what his mask represented, his dual self. He even came up with what he felt was a suitably poignant symbolic reference. His mask was thin enough to show the outline of his features, but not thin enough for the outside world to see his face in its entirety. It was, sniff, his way of reminding everyone, and himself of course, that he was a shinobi first, human being second. At this point, with Iruka sufficiently chagrined, Kakashi would then talk about the importance of his role in the Konoha village.

Hatake Kakashi, the child prodigy. Gennin at age 5, chuunin at age 6. The only non-Uchiha clan member to bear the burden of the Sharingan eye. Dramatic pause. He was the infamous Copy Ninja, an experienced and deadly jounin. He was also planning on subtlety inserting a reference to his years in the ANBU. The village had created a legend, a hero if you will. Hatake Kakashi was that hero. And as with all heroes, he carried a heavy burden. He had on his pale but strong shoulders, the weight of their aspirations, their hopes and dreams, their trust and their fears. Sniff. He, like all other heroes before him, refelected the needs and wants of his age. His presence reassured them, allowed them to sleep peacefully night. He didn't have the freedom of human weakness, he didn't have the luxury of showing emotion, he couldn't just be Kakashi. He was, for now and forever, Hatake Kakashi, the masked shinobi.

Iruka would at this point be close to tears and would try to comfort Kakashi but Kakashi wasn't done yet. He still had to say, 'How could you Ruka! I expected you, pause, I expected you of all people to understand! Sniff.' And then he would add in a bit more stuff that showed exactly how noble and self-sacrificing he was. It would then end with Iruka promising to do anything, ANYTHING Kakashi wanted to make it up to him. This would of course be of the sexual nature. Preferably with a lot of licking involved.

But that idiot Iruka, contrary as he was, didn't quite act according to they way Kakashi had mapped out so carefully.

Keep it on. Keep it on forever. Just promise me that you'll never die.

God.

What could he say to that? How in hell was he going to promise that?

He was already one of the few shinobi that had lasted at jounin level for more than a decade. And even though, given his training of Cell 7, he went on more D and C class missions lately, he was still needed often for A and S class missions. Particularly since the death of Sandaimei and other high level ninja. But ever since Iruka entered his life, he found himself acting more and more cautiously, holding back when he would have previously throw himself heedlessly into battle. He was afraid to lose all that he had so suddenly and so wonderfully gained. And it wasn't just the young chuunin teacher.

It was Naruto who always trying to get a glimpse of the inside of Icha Icha Violence and receiving a painful poke in the butt, a poke he was rapidly learning to dodge. It was seeing Sakura's eyebrow twitch as she held back whatever she really wanted to say and instead grimace sweetly. It was Sasuke trying to hide a smile as his fellow team-mates yelled at their sensei for being late yet again. He wasn't ready for all this to end just yet. Every morning when he visited the memorial and said hello to Obito, he asked,

I know you're probably busy but if you could, just watch over me and Ruka, and Naruto and Sakura and Sasuke for just another day, ok? I'd really appreciate it.

Still, Kakashi knew there were no guarantees to anything. Just because we wanted desperately to hold on didn't mean that we could. And even if he did die….Kakashi jerked suddenly, it came to him just then, what he had to say to Iruka.

It was raining the next morning, and Iruka was just entering his classroom, shivering slightly from getting caught in the sudden downpour. He wondered if Kakashi got drenched as well. Probably, given the man's lack of attention for his own well being. And then he saw it, a small slip of paper resting innocuously on his desk, still damp from its owner's hand. The young man reached out and hurriedly opened it, eyes rapidly scanning the short note. A pause and then Iruka looked up and gazed out the window, across the small field, where the offending tree stood. The bell rang. Iruka started, then smiled. He carefully folded the note and placed it in the pocket of his flak jacket, shamelessly choosing the one closest to his heart. The day had begun.

'Ruka,

I can't promise you what you want. But I'll love you forever regardless.

Kakashi. drawing of a small perfect heart'


	5. Just Stuff

Title: Just …Stuff: The Conclusion by Meleth78  
Genre: Romance/Angst  
Characters: Iruka, Kakashi and Sandaime  
Rating: R. Edited slightly to make it viewable on For the NC-17 version please take a look at my livejounal. The link is below :)  
Status: Concluded. I think.  
Comments: Back to Iruka. I'm sorry if the lemon bit is clumsy. It's my blush first time.  
Disclaimer: Why are they not mine? It's not fair.

www(dot)livejournal(dot)com(slash)users(slash)meleth78(slash)1936(dot)html for NC17 version.

Note: Sorry, the program kept erasing my html link. The (dot) means er full-stop and the (slash) means er backslash. Any problems just let me know in the review sections! And thank you thank you thank you all very VERY much for taking the time to read this and even more for taking the time to review it. I truly appreciate it. sniff Really. It means a lot. I'll try and do even better next time around! Happy reading!

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Iruka thought he knew his place in the world. He believed that he was done with the days when conflicting emotions tore at him, pushing and pulling him in too many directions, tearing him apart. He thought he had left behind the anger that gnawed at his gut every time he chose a path he was unable, or just not ready to take. He thought he was well trained, careful with his life, with his actions, with his emotions. At least he thought he was until Kakashi came along and wrecked it all. Iruka wondered what the Sandaime would have thought the whole matter. After all it had been the old ji-ji who had chosen to burden himself with watching over the young orphaned Umino Iruka.

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'Ahh Iruka-kun, why are you always in a hurry to be where you're not ready to go?'

'Hokage-sama, I am ready, if you'd just let me…'

'And why are you always choosing a path you were not yet meant to walk on?' the wizened old man continued, as if Iruka had not spoken.

'I know what I'm doing! Why don't you trust me?' shouted the boy, fists clenched, delicate young body coiled taut with repressed emotion, ready to lash out at the slightest provocation.

'Remaining a chuunin doesn't mean you have failed Iruka. It just means that you have to learn to accept your limitations. For now at least.'

'You think I'm not good enough…'

The look for unadulterated anguish in the young boy's dark eyes ripped though the older man. He remembered the impatience of youth, the anger against the body's inability to catch up with the spirit. But for the young man before him, the impatience and the anger was also tinged with the need for revenge. Not against the child that held the spirit of the kyubi, no, it was to Iruka's credit that he had never once thought of hurting Naruto, but vengeance against the world itself. For the unfairness that he perceived to permeate his life.

'It's not a matter of being good enough, it's a matter of admitting to yourself that there are certain directions that you cannot go. At least not yet.'

The white-haired Hokage had replied, reaching out and to grab the boy's chin and force angry dark eyes to meet his.

'And once you do that, once you admit that you have your limitations, you'll learn to work with them and around them. Then you'll find that there are endless paths for you to choose. Paths that will allow you to go as far as you want. You'll never have to look back Iruka, you won't want to.' The hand on the boy's face gentled.

Iruka jerked his face away, brushing the slender hand off, refusing to look any longer into the old man's knowledgeable eyes. But the fight had gone out of him, his body was sagging, leaving only dejection and a vague hurt he couldn't quite explain. The Sandaime exhaled softly, the boy was so sensitive and so very kind, it was difficult to watch him struggle and not give in to his demands. Reaching out again, this time more gently, the old man rested his hand on the dark head.

'Be patient just for now Iruka. Learn more about who you are first. And one day, when the time is right, you'll go further than you can ever imagine.'

'When?' Soft. And broken. The sound gutted the older man. If left alone, he knew that the child would let it fester, eat at him, diminish his spirit. No, this boy was too precious, he would not let that happen.

'When you're ready you brat, haven't you been listening to me at all?' The gentle hand on Iruka's head had turned into a fist and slammed down on the dark head.

'Oww! Hokage-sama! Itai!' yelped the boy, jumping away, his spunk already returning, a gleam of mischief entered his eyes. 'I just meant when will I know I'm ready, ji-ji!'

'You'll know. I trust you. If you don't, well…. too bad then. You can languish in your mediocrity.' Laughing uproariously at his own humor, the Sandaime made his way back to the mission room for his afternoon duties.

'Hokage-saaamaaa!' wailed the young boy, racing after him.

And then years later,

'Ahh Iruka-kun, why are you still so stubborn?'

'I'm not being stubborn Hokage-sama, I just think that my place is here. With the children. For now at least. Naruto…'

'Naruto is already wearing your hitai-ate. He is ready to move on. So should you. The jounin trials…'

'And there's still Konohamaru…' Iruka interrupted and then trailed off, turning his head so the older man wouldn't see his slight smile. Let's see you harden you heart against your own grandson ji-ji.

The older man huffed. He would have liked nothing more than for Iruka to take charge of Konohamaru's education. There was no other teacher he trusted more. But somewhere along the way, Iruka had picked up the habit of living his life for those around him, the Sandaime was worried that the young man had forgotten how to live for himself.

'And then there'll be Naruto's son, and then Konohamaru's daughter…so will you remain a chuunin forever? What happened to that angry young boy would was so adamant in taking the jounin trials?'

'You killed him.'

'Iruka!' A fist had reached up to slam on the academy teacher's head.

'Oww! Itai, Hokage-sama!' winced the younger man, rubbing his bruised head. He had grown much taller than his childhood self and towered over the elderly man but still the village leader managed to bash his head in whenever he chose. Hokage indeed. Iruka was pretty sure he would have been at least an inch taller if the old man hadn't slammed his fist on Iruka's head so often over the past years.

'I was just kidding!' He moved a little to put some distance between himself and that offending fist. 'Anyway, you told me I'll know when I'm ready. And I don't feel ready. Not yet. My place is here for now. Trust me. You always have.'

'What do you know? Always thinking you're so clever.' muttered the Hokage. But he let it go for the time being. He recognized the look in Iruka's dark eyes and knew he wouldn't have been able to sway the younger man. It was a look he took pride in because he believed he had helped put it there. Confidence. Self assurance. A look of a grown man. A good shinobi. A great teacher. A wonderful friend and…son. There are so many paths waiting for you, you'll never have to look back. Don't be afraid.

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Iruka missed the old man badly. There was once Kakashi had teasingly rested his elbow on the younger man's head as Iruka was grading scrolls and the jounin was standing impatiently above him waiting for him to finish. The older man had started slightly, then grabbed Iruka's head and in spite of the chuunin's squawking, proceeded to feel up the top of the younger teacher head.

'What the hell?' yelped Iruka. 'Kakashi!'

'You have a,' the jounin paused as he continued pressing down on the top of the dark head with his palm splayed open, flat. 'A slight… a slight depression. Right in the center of your head!'

'Stop that!' Iruka finally grabbed on to Kakashi's hands and yanked them away from his head. His neatly tied hair was all messed up now, strands were sticking up from where Kakashi had prodded. 'I know my head is dented. It's all the Hokage's fault!'

'Tsunade gave you a dent?' asked the older jounin, surprised and more than a little angry. It was after all HIS Ruka's head. He thought the woman was fond of Iruka, even heard her telling Shizune how adorable he was and how easily the young man blushed.

'Not Godaime-sama, Sandaime-sama.' Answered Iruka softly. 'He used to…he used to…' The young teacher suddenly found that he couldn't continue. He breathed deeply, trying to center himself, not daring to speak. It had already been weeks since…but it only hit him just then. The old man was no longer around. There was no longer the offending fist to jolt his thoughts into order. There was no longer the soft yet strong voice to remind him that someone had faith in him. There was no longer…and right at that moment he felt a smack to the back of his head. Not a slam but a hard smack.

'Oww! Itai! The hell!' Iruka yelped, grabbing the back of his head, shocked out of his reverie. Kakashi then reached out and roughly pulled the younger man to him. The jounin smoothed the errant dark strands of hair back into place and softly pressed his lips to the top of Iruka's head, gently nuzzling. Iruka bit back a smile and thought, silly man, not quite sure if he was referring to Kakashi or himself. He rubbed at his eyes before slipping his own arms around the jounin's lean waist. That's right. I'll never have to look back, He wouldn't want me to. I'm not afraid.

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_Ruka,_

_I can't promise you what you want. But I'll love you forever regardless._

_Kakashi. drawing of a small perfect heart_

What would you have thought of this then ji-ji? Iruka thought as he re-read the note yet again. Just then he sensed movement from the bed behind him as the pale form encased in blankets shifted its position. Kakashi. The older man had come over a few hours ago, claiming that he had been quote, 'a very good boy' and had waited till Iruka had finished his classes then his duty in the mission room. The jounin claimed that he could have just justu-ed himself into the empty classroom during lunch break and taken the younger chuunin.

'You could have…just taken me?' said the aforementioned chuunin softly, eyebrow twitching slightly.

'You bet!' snarled the agitated jounin.

'Is that so?' Twitch twitch.

Kakashi paused in the middle of his loud rant and turned to face the glaring younger man. Seeing the look on the teacher's face, the jounin balked and held his hands up in a placating manner,

'Er…I er…meant I would have er…asked you if you …you know, before taking you. Yes.'

The twitch didn't go away, in fact it seemed to pulse at a more rapid pace.

'Ruuuuuu-kaaaaaaaaaa' whined the silver-haired man.

Iruka turned away, set on ignoring the idiot of a shinobi.

'Ruka' Softer this time. A pale hand reached out to take his, tugging softly. 'Ruka' the voice repeated, just as softly, 'Please.'

I'll love you forever regardless.

Iruka sighed, the jounin was lucky he was such a wordsmith. He allowed himself to be pulled against a warm chest as arms enfolded him from behind.

'You're an idiot Kakashi'

'You forgot to add that you'll love me anyway.' murmured the older man pressing his masked face into the chuunin's neck, breathing in deeply. He then reached up and pulled his mask down before gently biting down on Iruka's neck.

'Kashi…' gasped Iruka.

'Shuushh, let me…' the deep voice trailed off as a tongue slipped out and lapped at the bite, sucking gently before trailing upwards, across the younger man's jaw. Kakashi stopped at his earlobe, biting down gently before sucking hard. Iruka stifled a groan and then yelped slightly as he was pushed back onto the chair he had been sitting on before Kakashi summarily burst into his home.

'Kashi, wha?' gasped Iruka again, before Kakashi all but crushed his mouth against the younger chuunin's. Tongues tangled, fought, slid warmly against each other before the jounin pulled back slightly. He was too close to Iruka's face for the younger man to focus. Kakashi murmured,

'Lean back'

He then slid down slowly and pushed Iruka's thighs apart before kneeling between them. The chuunin closed his eyes as he leaned back against the chair.

'It's ok.'

'Hmm?' replied the chuunin, reaching out to push his hand into the soft sliver hair so that he would know the position of Kakashi's head despite his closed eyes.

'It's ok, you can keep them open.' Replied the jounin, in turn reaching up to pull Iruka's hands from his hair and place then on his bare face.

'Kakashi…'

'Open. Don't spoil my plan! You already trashed my old one!'

'What? What are you talking about?' Iruka's eyes shot open. 'What plan?'

'The one where I was going to guilt….never mind' Kakashi realized that the younger man was no longer paying any attention to his words but rather, had focused on the movement of his lips. He licked them, nervous all of a sudden. Calloused, tanned hands reached out and delicately traced his lower lip from right to left. Then they moved up to touch the scar running down his left eye.

'Kashi...' the chuunin's voice was strained as he tried to rise from his seated position.

'Shuush…don't. Let me' repeated the jounin, rearing up to capture the younger man's lips once again. Kakashi pressed the younger man back into the chair, lingering for a moment longer before sliding back down between Iruka's legs.

'Don't move. You've always liked this before. It'll be even better when you can watch. Trust me.' He continued mischievously, licking his lips again, this time in heady anticipation.

By now, Iruka had figured out what Kakashi was intending to do and murmured,

'You don't have to.'

'I want to' came the swift reply, hands already moving to push the younger man's drawstring pants down and slipped oh-so-gently inside Iruka's boxers. 'Please?' He breathed softly.

Iruka nodded and then shifted slightly so that his knees were further apart and his hands were resting on the arms of the chair. This allowed Kakashi to bend his head further forward.

LEMON :)

A while later...

'Kashi…' a happy murmur. Shy.

Kakashi finally raised his head and smiled, mouth reddened and slightly swollen. He touched a finger to his lips, stared at it for a moment before popping his finger back into his mouth and sucking on it. Iruka smiled shyly, his face tinged with pink as he bent down and hugged Kakashi close, hiding his face in the other man's neck. He then nuzzled his way up the smooth bare chin and kissed the jounin, slipping his tongue in boldly to stroke against the other tongue. Tasting himself. He deepened the kiss. Tasting Kakashi.

'Mmmm….' whispered the jounin against the soft lips, 'You taste good.'

'I love you'

'I love you too Ruka. Why did you even have to ask?'

'You never said…'

"I drew hearts'

'Hearts?' asked the perplexed chuunin.

'Always. Next to my name.' came the indignant answer.

'Those were…hearts?' questioned the incredulous younger man.

'Ahh…shut up.' Kakashi said as he lifted the protesting chuunin from the chair and hauled his pretty ass into the bedroom proclaiming that what goes around comes around and that it was his turn. Finally, thank the heavens, it was HIS turn. Iruka stopped protesting after a while. Kakashi was, after all a genius at many things.

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Iruka re-read the note once more before carefully putting in a drawer. He then made his way to the bed where his lover laid, slipping quietly under the covers and spooned himself against the body of the sleeping man.

_I can't promise you what you want._

No, he didn't expect Kakashi to. Not really anyway. He had written it in the heat of the moment, perhaps even in a fit of desperation. Love meant a lost of control that scared him. He had forgotten to behave like the man he had worked so hard to become. He wouldn't have believed Kakashi if the jounin had made that promise to him. Fortunately, Kakashi knew better than that. He had learnt, perhaps long before the chuunin had, that there were limitations that couldn't be overcome no matter how much a person wanted it, or how hard a person tried. That was just the way life was. But once you recognize those limitations, you'll learn to work with them, around them and then you'll discover that there are endless paths for you to choose. Paths that would allow you to travel as far as you wanted. And you'll never have to look back because there'll never be a need to. There was nothing to be afraid of because no matter what happened, he would be loved forever, regardless.

THE END.


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